Our Tips to Avoid Getting in a Knot over French Etiquette
Originally posted on & updated on 23rd September, 2025
Every country has their own code of what constitutes good manners; what is accepted in one country, even in one region, may not be so in another. Well, it’s the same in France. There is nothing like ‘fitting in’ to make you feel at home, and this can be partly accomplished by understanding how the French do things differently. They are proud of their étiquette, and we want to ensure that when you move over, you feel confident in the customs, rather than getting into a knot of confusion.
The Basics of French Etiquette
Handshake or Cheek Greeting
Across Europe, a kiss on the cheek is often used as a greeting, rather than the more reserved handshake. If you are meeting someone for the first time, it is fine to stick with a handshake. However, for someone you have met before, or are being introduced to, a kiss on each cheek is considered appropriate. Bear in mind that there are regional differences; in some areas, it is customary to kiss four times on alternate cheeks, while others do so twice or three times. It’s best to observe what the norm is.
Saying ‘Bonjour’
Tradition dictates that gentlemen are always addressed as Monsieur or Messieurs if more than one gentleman is present, but a married woman is referred to as Madame, and an unmarried woman used to be called Mademoiselle. Although this might have worked in a different time, in today’s world, it doesn’t really work, as how do you know if a woman is married? As a guide, if you feel the woman looks young, using Mademoiselle is probably best, and anyone who looks over 25, use Madame.
Tu or Formal Vous?
One of the most common mistakes people make is confusing ‘tu’ and ‘vous’; get this wrong, and you could come across as rude. Tu is the singular and informal word for ‘you’, whereas vous is both the formal singular and the plural formal and informal.
Prompt or Fashionably Late?
One of the best ways to get to know your new neighbours quicker is to enjoy their company over dinner. In the UK, arriving late would be considered rude, but in France, it is expected and considered polite. There is an unspoken rule that you should delay your arrival by 15 minutes; this way, if the host is behind schedule, getting everything ready, you won’t arrive and embarrass them. However, if you are dining at a restaurant, it is best to arrive on time.
A Bottle of Wine or Flowers?
Just as in the UK, when you are invited to someone’s home, it is customary to bring a small gift. Where we may take a bottle of wine, some of your French neighbours may consider this rude, as it suggests you are judging their wine cellar. Unless you are a wine connoisseur and you already know your neighbour’s taste and wine cellar! A bottle of chilled champagne from the supermarket is fine and safe, as is a bouquet of flowers, although you should avoid lilies and chrysanthemums as they are used for funerals and therefore considered bad luck.
Dinner Etiquette
It is not polite to wear a hat at the table, and always allow your host to eat first. Be aware of your bread; if bread is presented on the table or your side plate, never return it upside down, as this is considered unlucky. This superstition dates back to Medieval times, when the executioner was one of the most feared individuals. To ensure that he didn’t get hungry or upset, the baker would reserve a baguette for him by placing it upside down, thereby preventing anyone else from taking it.
To show your host you have enjoyed their meal, it is customary to use your bread to mop up all the jus (sauce). However, rules such as these are not followed when eating at a restaurant in France.
Evening Dress Code
The French take fashion and appearance very seriously, and any business or formal situations require you to look smart; this includes, for example, meeting your notaire to sign the compromis de vente for your new home. An invite with an ‘informal’ dress code doesn’t necessarily mean you can wear jeans, but a ‘formal’ dress code tends to mean evening wear is required.
Now you know the étiquette, all you need is a new home and neighbours to put these customs into practice once you start living in France.
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